====== The Last Saskatchewan Pirate ======

by The Arrogant Worms

I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine
I had a little stretch of land along the C.P. line
But times were hard and though I tried, the money wasn't there
And bankers came and took my land and told me fair was fair
I looked for any kind of job, the answer always no
"Hire you now?" they'd always laugh "We just let 20 go"
The government, they promised me a measly little sum
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum
Then I thought, who gives damn if the jobs are all gone?
I'm going to be a pirate on the river Saskatchewan!

**Chorus:** 
//And it's a heave ho, high ho, coming down the plains
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a ho hey, high hey, farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores//

You'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large
But just the other day I saw an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer
A bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a-quiver
'Cause they know that Tractor Jack is waiting in the bay
I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay

[//Chorus//]

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me he was always at my throat
He'd follow on the shoreline cause he didn't own a boat
But cutbacks were a-coming and the Mountie lost his job
And now he's sailing with us and we call him Salty Bob
A swinging sword, a skull and bones, and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea
If you want to reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me

[//Chorus//]

Well, pirate life's appealing, but you just don't find it here
I heard that in Alberta there's a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabasca, from Smith to Fort Mackay
And you're bound to lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way.
Well winter is a-coming and a chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
I'll be back in springtime but now I have to go
I hear there's lots of plundering down in New Mexico

[//Chorus//]