====== Roadkill on the Infobahn ======

Tune: //Barrett's Privateers//

Oh the year was 1995 
//How I wish I had a T-1 line!// 
When a memo came down and the boss said, "Get 
this company up on the internet"

**Chorus**
//God damn them all, I was told 
The software would be "plug and go" 
Put in the disk, and turned it on... 
Now it's a smoking mess and I can't log on 
I'm roadkill on the infobahn.//

[Chorus]

Boss said the code was set to run 
//How I wish I had a T-1 line!// 
'Cept a few routines that I'd have to hack 
In FORTRAN on our Univac

[Chorus]

The 1108 was a sickening sight 
//How I wish I had a T-1 line!// 
It had vacuum tubes and a punch card bin 
And when you turned it on it made the lights go dim

[Chorus]

I looked at the code that we'd been sold 
//How I wish I had a T-1 line!// 
It took 86 meg and a CD drive 
And it ran on Windows '95

[Chorus]

I found a path through ftp 
//How I wish I had a T-1 line!// 
But our modem was 2400K 
And to download the file took two whole days

[Chorus]

At last I got the code compiled 
//How I wish I had a T-1 line!// 
But the screen went blank when I hit return 
The mainframe caught fire and began to burn

[Chorus]

So here I sit as a sysadmin 
//How I wish I had a T-1 line!// 
I've seen more pain than a man deserves 
Net time I'm calling CompuServe!

[Chorus]