Tune: Barrett's Privateers
Oh the year was 1995 How I wish I had a T-1 line! When a memo came down and the boss said, “Get this company up on the internet”
Chorus God damn them all, I was told The software would be “plug and go” Put in the disk, and turned it on… Now it's a smoking mess and I can't log on I'm roadkill on the infobahn.
[Chorus]
Boss said the code was set to run How I wish I had a T-1 line! 'Cept a few routines that I'd have to hack In FORTRAN on our Univac
The 1108 was a sickening sight How I wish I had a T-1 line! It had vacuum tubes and a punch card bin And when you turned it on it made the lights go dim
I looked at the code that we'd been sold How I wish I had a T-1 line! It took 86 meg and a CD drive And it ran on Windows '95
I found a path through ftp How I wish I had a T-1 line! But our modem was 2400K And to download the file took two whole days
At last I got the code compiled How I wish I had a T-1 line! But the screen went blank when I hit return The mainframe caught fire and began to burn
So here I sit as a sysadmin How I wish I had a T-1 line! I've seen more pain than a man deserves Net time I'm calling CompuServe!
