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====== There Are No Lights On Our Christmas Tree ======

by Cyril Tawney

The time has come for festivity
For Christmas pudding and revelry
But as I passed out the other night
I heard a small voice next to me:

**Chorus:**
//There are no lights on our Christmas tree
We must not spoil the telly-vee
No party games, no mistletoe
Just whistle "Wenceslas", and out you go.//

'Bout once a year I become a square
I love to feel the tinsel in my hair
I love to hear the songs of days gone by
But dad and me we don't see eye-to-eye.

[//Chorus//]

The Christmas crackers from Uncle Alf
They lie unopened upon the shelf
Dad has forbid them but we're hoping he
Won't notice one more bang in Laramy.

[//Chorus//]

Some carol singers came to our door-
I've never seen dad so mad before.
He grabbed the leader by the coat
And tried to ram his lantern down his throat.

[//Chorus//]

When I grow up and become a man
There'll be no television in my plan
With laughter gay my house will ring
I never want to hear my children sing: 

[//Chorus//]