by John Mayberry and Jamie Beaton of the Toronto Morris Men
[from David Meddows-Taylor]
sung to the tune The Old Rose and Crown, by Ian Robb

Good friends gather round and I'll sadly relate
The misfortunes that Morris has suffered of late.
These gimmicks and dances in styles newly grown
Have diminished a dance that once stood on its own.

Chorus:
Oh, what has become of the simple half-rounds?
The foot-up, the whole-hey that old Cecil wrote down?
For bells, sticks and hankies and a pint of good beer
Were once reckoned enough to bring pleasure and cheer.

O where are the dances we all used to know?
When a team would do Trunkles to start off a show?
Then the Rose, and crown it with Idbury Hill
Not the Ox Dance, Mr. Softie and Jamaica Farewell.

Chorus

There'll soon come a day when they'll dance to the tune
of Jumping Jack Flash played on bones and bassoon,
Six cowboys on tricycles roaring around,
Numbers two, four and six being whirled upside down.

Chorus

But the worst of it all's what they've done to the Ales
Where the flash made up show dance is the rule that prevails
And the drinking and singing, carousing all night
Give way to concern that the baby's all right.

Chorus

So all you good people, come raise up your glass.
Let us hope that these bold innovations pass.
Here's health to the Morris, of all dances the best.
Those who find it too hard can sink to Northwest.

[Chorus]